June Foyeurism: TWILIGHT SAGA: EPISODE III: ATTACK OF THE EMOS

[Foywonder]

A short Foyeurism since the month is halfway over. Sorry. Could not be helped. The good news is that TWILIGHT finally makes it Foyeurism debut. That is good news, right?

My worst fear continues to be that one day Robert Pattinson's eyebrows will end up in the same room as William Shatner's toupee and attempt to mate.

JULY FOYEURISM: TWILIGHT SAGA: EPISODE THREE: ATTACK OF THE EMOS

[Son of Sunstealer]

whoa, whoa, whoa, Edward is a virgin?

He's been 'alive' for more than 100 years, and was turned as a virile male anyway, and he's never had sex.

He's never met a carbon copy of Bella (kinda cute emo chick that stutters and blinks a lot) in 100 years? He's never done another vampire chick or been to a whorehouse or nothing?

I call bullshit to the extreme. This is more unbelievable than the vampirism itself. I'll believe in vampires before I believe any man with a working pecker stays celibate for 100 years.

'So when Victoria screws with a guy's emotions and whips him into an almost uncontrollable frenzy she's considered the bad guy, but when Bella does the same to Edward and Jacob's heart strings, she's not only not considered a bad person, she's the romantic lead envied and idolized by females everywhere?'


This is a good point, I'd even go a step further and say how about this: name one movie where the male lead gets to constantly mack on two girls, both of which are devoted to him, and see how fast 51% of the population declares him a dog or a real SOB. I like to call this the 'Devil Wears Prada' corollary (it's okay for the plucky female lead to have a one night stand and then return to her patient boyfriend, never mentioning it never dealing with a single negative consequence, but reverse the genders and all our girlfriends would have a rage-fit)


This was a good review, man. I like the ones where its obvious you're not completely exasperated, just so consistently annoyed you get darn insightful.

[Doctor Ted Nelson]

that I've never heard of Bunnicula before. What have I been doing with my life?

Also, I am so stealing the last line of the review.

[Foywonder]

At this point I'd rather be watching a BUNNICULA movie. Surprised no enterprising movie producers haven't snatched up with rights for a CGI animated flick (I don't think it would ever work as a live-action unless they seriously MARMADUKE'd it up and that would be a terrible decision).

[mdamien13]

I will never, ever, watch any of these movies or read the shitty books they came from but man do I love reading a Foyeurisum based on them. May be a shorter entry this month, but man did you pack some laughs in there!

[Son of Sunstealer]

I look at 'Twilight' similar to how I look at Glen Beck. I'll read Beck's books and I'll watch some Rifftrax Twilight and read the books because I like to know my enemy. I'm one of those irritating bastards that enjoys arguing and winning. And there's nothing like quoting the other person's political/literary hero back to them to prove a hypocrisy.

BTW, reading Sarah Palin's 'book' as well. Hey, her ghost writer is just as good as Stephanie Meyer. . .